The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize