he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
