i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
