Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
