I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
