PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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