were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
