Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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