He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dignity is for republicans.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Randomize
