So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
