I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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