i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
