i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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