I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
