The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
