no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
