everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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