Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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