Midget sex pt 2 tonight
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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