You just made me feel so damn special
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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