you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
youre lurking in front of me
he thought i was a dude.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
