I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
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Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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