I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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