hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
