if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
