Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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