ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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