i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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