shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
