Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize