And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
