Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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