Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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