My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
