I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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