i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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