How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish you could order shots online.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
