I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
