I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
