Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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