Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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