I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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