Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
