i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
