I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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