She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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