I must be too annoying 4 u.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
