What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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