Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
