Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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