dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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