I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I am available for nakedness
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
