Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
