What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
