One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize