..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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