Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
