this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
