i was born a porn star she said
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you will always have a special place in my vag
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize