can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
