My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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