i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
